


Holding My Breath

by softandrew



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-08-06 04:14:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16381184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softandrew/pseuds/softandrew
Summary: I can’t believs this is finished!! 2 months ago this was not at all where I wanted this story to go but I love how it ended up. Thank you for reading this ❤️





	1. Signal

Timer. 3 minutes. Sencha. Set. Pause. Signal. Start. Breathe. Pace.

"You can do this," Morgan whispered, running her hand over her face and sitting on the toilet. "It's not going to ruin your life. It's probably nothing. It was one time," she tried to convince herself, her voice hitching up on the last sentence.

Ryland knocked on the door. "Morgan, are you okay?"

Her heart jumped into her throat and she gulped. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine, just taking my makeup off!"

"Okay, just hurry. We have to leave soon and I want to see you before we go."

Morgan glanced at her phone and clamored for it before it could go off. She breathed heavily and her heart beat out of her chest. "It's going to be okay, just breathe, Morgan."

Walk. Flip. Gag.

"Oh my God," she whispered. "Oh -- oh my God." She was sweating and she could feel the droplets running down her face, covering both the bright pink lines, _lines_ , on the test. "Jesus Christ."

"Morgan? Are you okay? Let me in," Ryland said from the other side of the door.

"No -- Leave, I'm fine Ryland. I'm coming out give me just a minute," she replied, stashing the box and test in the back of her sink cabinet and wiped the tears off her eyes. She opened the door to a disgruntled Ryland.

"We have to leave, but we'll be back on Sunday afternoon. Are you sure you're okay here by yourself?" He asked, a worried look on his face. They rarely were serious with each other, but she could tell Ryland was concerned about her.

"Ryland, I'm fine. I'll call Garrett or Andrew if I need something." That was a lie. She couldn't call Andrew. Except, oh shit, she had to call Andrew, but that was another problem entirely--

Ryland hugged her. "Okay. I just hate leaving you all alone."

"Go, Ry, you and Shane need to spend some time together," she insisted, and it wasn't a lie; she couldn't remember the last time Shane and Ryland spent the weekend together, just the two of them. Ryland smiled at her when he let go, picking his suitcase up off the couch and grabbing his coffee in the other hand.

"Please call us if you need something. We'll have wifi in the hotel at Cabo, so we can facetime, too," he reminded her. Morgan smiled and held her arm over her stomach.

She stood by the pool and waved goodbye as they climbed into their Uber, Uno and Honey beside her wagging their tails happily.

**To: andrew <3**

_can u come over? i need to show you something._

"You're gonna have a cousin, babies," she whispered as she scratched their heads.

 


	2. Cosmic

**To: andrew <3**

_can u come over? i need to show you something._

**To: Morgan**

_what's up? I'm with Garrett filming is it okay if he comes too?_

_uh, yeah that's fine. hurry?_

_Yeah, be there in 15._

_{morgan}_

Morgan looked at her phone. And looked at the pregnancy test in her left hand. She gagged again.

"Holy fucking shit," she whispered. She took a deep breath and thought back to the party. She'd been fucking wasted, but so had Andrew. And that's excuse enough isn't it? Shit. She'd always been so fucking careful. She'd taken her birth control religiously since 11th grade and had never ever missed a pill. She had no idea how this had happened.

She couldn't breathe. It had all been a mistake. Shane had dared Andrew to kiss her, and then she dared him to let her suck his dick. And then they fucked and -- shit, Garrett. She couldn't breathe again.

They'd slept together, but they'd used a condom, hadn't they? She couldn't remember. She'd tried to block that night out; after Andrew finished and sobered up he'd realized what he'd done and made her promise not to tell anyone, especially Ryland. She had agreed, because she knew Garrett would hate her if she told him she'd slept with Andrew. She hadn't meant to. Everything was so hazy.

_{andrew}_

He knocked on the door, giggling at a joke Garrett told about ghosts and sheets the second before. He grinned until Morgan opened the door and he realized she was decidedly not in a giggly mood and he stifled it real quick.

"Morgan?" Andrew asked cautiously. He had no idea what he was asking, but he didn't know what was going on either. He'd never seen Morgan cry, let alone be in a big enough mess that she couldn't even catch her breath. 

"Give us a minute, Garrett?" He requested softly, pointing upstairs to Shane and Ryland's room. Garrett nodded and pulled out his headphones. 

Andrew reached out to touch her arm, to try and comfort her but she jerked away. He bit his lip and looked at her, confused.

"Andrew, don't--" She took a deep breath and motioned for him to follow her into her room. "Don't hate me, please. I had no idea this was going to happen."

His eyebrows pressed together, but he sat on the bed anyway and watched as Morgan shuffled around in her bathroom. She came back with a box and a plastic baggie that had-- oh. 

His breath stopped. "Morgan is that?" He couldn't finish it. If he finished the sentence then he would have to take responsibility for _whatever_  was about to happen.

She gulped and nodded, handing him the test. 

Andrews hands were shaking so much he could barely grip it, but there it was, two pink lines, one brighter than the other, but definitely two lines. 

"You're pregnant." It wasn't a question. Andrew had seen enough pregnancy scares to know what a negative test looked like, and that was _not_  a negative test. Morgan nodded again.

"Andrew, please you don't have to do this. I just... you needed to know before I make the appointment in the morning." 

Standing up and shaking his head, Andrew placed the test on the bed and walked over to Morgan to grab her hand. "I want you to know I support you. I, if you need me to I can... I... Morgan, I can be there for you; if you want me to." 

She pulled her hands away from Andrew's. "I didn't tell you to get pity or help or have you convince me I need my hand held, Andrew, I told you so you could tell Garrett _," s_ he whispered, motioning upstairs. 

Andrew's heart fell. Shit _. Garrett._

"I-- okay," he conceded. Morgan breathed in a sigh of relief. 

"I'm sorry, Andrew, I just can't do it. We promised everyone we wouldn't date and I-- Garrett is going to feel so, so betrayed if we tell him what happened. I think it would be better coming from you." This wasn't entirely a lie. Garrett was going to be pissed either way, but Andrew didn't have to know that was because Garrett was in love with him.

*              *              *

Garrett had told Morgan on a spring day that he loved Andrew. They sat in his garden, watching his lights clink together and he'd blurted it out, 2 vodka sodas in and inhibitions out the window. 

"Morgan, I love him." Morgan glanced over and raised an eyebrow. 

"Who, Garrett. You say that 4 times a week and 90% of the time it's about Harry Potter." Garrett didn't say anything for a moment, waiting for Morgan to get her giggles out at her joke.

"Andrew." Morgan spat out her vodka soda. She wiped up the excess with her shirt and looked firmly at Garrett. He just sipped.

"What?" She shouldn't be surprised. Garrett loved Andrew anyway, they had been best friends since before the squad formed, but -- no. She wasn't surprised. "Never mind, don't answer that."

Garrett shrugged and put down his drink. "I've loved him for a long time, but I know I'll never have a chance. I just hope he finds someone like you." Morgan smiled and thought about it for a minute.

Garrett, you know he's in _love_  with you, right? Have you seen the way he looks at you?"

"You sound like a tumblr girl, Morgan, stop," he giggled, but his cheeks flushed and Morgan knew he was thinking about it.

*                 *               *

Andrew looked at her. "Is this really happening?" Morgan bit her lip. 

"I can't believe it either. I didn't have any idea how this could happen. I can't -- I'm completely shocked, Andrew this is crazy." She rambled, like she did when she got nervous. He pulled her into his side and pressed a kiss to the top of her forehead. 

"Are you sure you don't want to keep it?" He asked, almost completely inaudibly, like he didn't want her to hate him for asking.

She thought for a minute. "I... I don't know right now. This is crazy to me. We only had sex once and I-- I know it's possible but we used a condom and I--- the world just seems like its out to get me right now --" Andrew pressed his hand over her mouth and lifted his eyebrow. 

"You good?" He asked, pulling his hand away slowly. She nodded. "I'm going to talk to Garrett. Just stay down here, okay?" 

Andrew walked to the door, opening it, his heart dropping when he saw Garrett sitting in the living room, eyes watery and red, looking up at Andrew hopelessly.

"Is it true? Did you fuck her?"

 


	3. Glass

_{garrett}_

He hadn't meant to eavesdrop on Andrew and Morgan, but they weren't exactly being quiet. He pulled his airpods out of his ears just in time to hear Andrew whisper "you're pregnant?"

Surely he hadn't heard that right; who had Morgan slept with, and why hadn't she told him and Andrew? She had certainly never kept a secret from him before. But then, he supposed Andrew would be the most reasonable about this. He loved babies, but he also didn't see Morgan as a little sister the same way Garrett did. She was probably just worried he would overreact, and he understood why she didn't need that right now.

But it made sense; Morgan had been acting off for a few weeks and so had Andrew, so maybe he knew who she'd slept with. He almost put his AirPod back in his ear, resolved to simply letting Morgan tell him when she was ready, when he heard Morgan say "we promised everyone we wouldn't date, Andrew," and it clicked.

Morgan and Andrew.

They'd had sex.

Probably at the party Ryland had thrown for Shane and Jeffree and suddenly Garrett couldn't breathe. He slammed his phone on the table and paced, debating what to do; he couldn't help the tears that formed in his eyes (he cried for everything, but especially when he was angry) and tried to take deep, solid breaths. He turned and sat down again, trying to compose himself, but he saw Andrew closing the door gently behind him.

Garrett ground his teeth and sucked in a shaky breath.

"Is it true? Did you fuck her?" He asked, voice wavering and not at all confident but Garrett had thrown that out the window long before Andrew walked out.

"Shit, Garrett, you heard."

"Yeah, I fucking heard. When were you going to tell us, Andrew? If Morgan wasn't pregnant were you ever going to tell any of us? You could have ruined the group! Both of you! You promised us you wouldn't date. You guys promised Shane and Ryland!" Garrett couldn't help himself now. He stood up and started pacing again, one hand running through his hair. He stopped in front of Andrew and pointed a finger into his chest.

"Were you going to tell me?" He asked, his tone less harsh now and more hurt by the gravity of what he realized. "I— apparently I wasn't even important enough to you for you to tell me you slept with Morgan. Did you think I would tell Ryland, Andrew?" He choked out, wiping his tear away furiously from where they ran out under his glasses onto his cheeks.

Andrew opened his mouth to speak, but Garrett stopped him. "No, I need to know why you didn't tell me."

Andrew gulped. "Because it was a mistake, Garrett. I didn't mean to sleep with her that night, and I probably shouldn't have, but I did and I can't change that. Garrett you have to believe that I didn't do this to hurt you. I wouldn't ever do anything to jeopardize our friendship." Garrett scoffed.

"Well, this is a hell of a way to tell me, isn't it."   
Andrew flinched.

"I'm sorry, Garrett."

"I'm sure you are, Andrew, but that doesn't change the fact that somewhere in you, you wanted to sleep with her." Garrett knew he was reaching. He knew he was being unreasonable. He had no reason to distrust Andrew. He was just so angry.

{ _andrew_ }

Andrew knew Garrett was hurt. Honestly he had no way of understanding how Garrett felt. His best friends had slept together and they had kept it from him.

"Garrett, we should have told you, but we both agreed it would be better if we just—" Garrett stopped him.

"Stop making excuses, Andrew." Garrett had never talked to him like that. They'd been friends for 4 years and Garrett had never used that voice with him; he didn't even know Garrett had that tone.

"I." He sighed. He had no argument.

"I can't be here, Andrew. I need. I need some time to think about this. Of all people, I would think that you would have told me this, but obviously I was wrong." Garrett turned and walked out the door onto the porch, intending completely to walk to his car, but something made him wait.

Andrew's heart plummeted as he watched Garrett walk off. "Garrett wait," he yelled, following him and grabbing Garrett's arm.

"What, Andrew." Garrett looked as though he had given up completely. Andrew knew this was his only chance. He turned Garrett around and said what he had wanted to say since he'd met him.

"I didn't tell you, because I didn't want you to think I chose her instead of you."

 


	4. Silence

Garrett wanted to say that Andrew was only trying to catch his attention; that what he'd just said, out loud, on Shane and Ryland's porch in the middle of August wasn't true and Andrew had only used it for a reaction but. The way Andrew was looking at him, as though he'd just poured his whole entire heart out to Garrett in 30 seconds.

"What do you mean, Andrew?" He didn't want to acknowledge what the redhead had said but he couldn't help himself.

Andrew sputtered, amazed that Garrett had even given him a response. He almost didn't realize what Garrett was talking about, until he remembered he'd just told Garrett, essentially, that he had feelings for him.

"I... Garrett," he took a deep breath. He could do this. There was no sense in backtracking because Garrett would never forget what he'd just said and brushing it off as nothing would only hurt them both more. "Garrett, I messed up, and... and I know that you probably won't forgive me, ever, but I need you to know that what I'm about to say isn't fake and it's not for you to forgive me faster, or, or at all." He whispered the last part as he stepped closer to Garrett.

Garrett swiped his tongue over his bottom lip; huffed out a breath through his parted lips.

Andrew gulped and placed a few fingers on Garrett's arm.

"Just say it, Andrew."

"I love you."

"Andrew, I know." He tried to deflect, to make this easier on both of them.

"Garrett, no."

"Andrew, don't do this."

"Garrett, I do."

Garrett let out a breath. "Andrew are you sure--"

"Garrett. Yes. Just... " He sighed and stepped closer to Garrett. His nose nearly touched Garrett's neck and he didn't look up at him but instead toward the city, wishing Garrett would say something, anything.

But Garrett pushed him away. "Andrew of all the times you've had the opportunity to tell me you're in love with me, you choose right now? Do you not understand how that isn't a great time?"

"I mean it's never a great time to confess your love to your best friend," Andrew started but Garrett's glare stopped him quickly.

"It's also never a great time to get your _best_ friend pregnant but you never were one to leave anything uncompleted." Garrett knew it was harsh, but he couldn't care anymore. Andrew had hurt him, however unwillingly, and he needed to make sure Andrew knew that.

Andrew nearly choked when he saw a tear slip out from under Garrett's glasses. He gulped and stepped closer, reaching to put a hand on Garretts arm and he flinched when Garrett pulled away. "Garrett, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.  Morgan is one of my best friends but she's not my _best_ friend. I've known you so much longer and I care about you, Garrett." He knew that not saying the "l" word right now was probably the best thing for him.

Garrett sighed. "Can I ask you a question?"

Andrew nodded hastily.

"Did you even think about it before you did it? Did you think about how it would affect me? Since you say that you love me," he paused, "or whatever." He added the last for good measure -- he needed to be flippant with Andrew or Garrett would have a mental breakdown. 

Andrew took a deep breath and thought about how to put this. "I was drunk, Garrett and that's not an excuse. I didn't think about anything that night. If it had been you instead of Morgan I probably wouldn't have been so quick to agree, but _only_  because I wouldn't have wanted to sleep with you like that." He prayed to who ever was listening that Garrett realized he was telling the truth and that everything he'd said was okay enough to make Garrett believe him. 

Garrett bit his lip. He was hurt by what Andrew was saying... at first. But he could see the sincerity in Andrew's eyes, how he was willing Garrett to believe that he hadn't done this out of spite.

"Andrew, I'm not going to forgive you right now. I need time to... to think about everything that's happened and -- I love you guys, and I don't want Morgan to hate me. But --- I need to take some time for myself and really think about everything that's happened. I... I'll call you tomorrow. I'm going to take an Uber home." Garrett turned on his heel and left before he could change his mind and go back and kiss the stupid look off Andrew's face. He didn't want to look at either one of them right now, but he also hated leaving Andrew upset and hurt. He shook his head and walked up the hill to the top of Shane's drive. 

Tomorrow, he promised himself. 

Andrew stood outside the door, dumbfounded as he watched Garrett walk away. They had never walked away from each other in an argument and he kicked himself for being stupid enough that _now_  he confessed his dumb love to Garrett. Garrett was right, he could have done that anytime, but he only wanted to make Garrett less mad at him. Whatever. 

He sighed and walked back into the house, planning to tell Morgan he was leaving and going to try and find Garrett when he realized the house was suspiciously quiet. 

"Morgan?" he called. He walked into the bathroom to see her sitting on the bed, holding her phone and the test in either hand. He sat beside her and grabbed her phone gently.

"I can call, Morgan. So you don't have to. This is my fault, too." She nodded and wrapped her hand around his. He hated this. He hated it so much. "You know you're still one of my very best friends, right?" She nodded again, but it didn't feel as confident as the one before.

He dialed the number for Planned Parenthood and scheduled the appointment for the following morning. 

He imagined how much different things would be for _all_ of them if it had only been Garrett playing truth or dare with them instead of getting drinks from around the corner, and kicked himself for not going with him.

 

 


	5. Flash

Andrew didn't really know how much he'd had to drink. After they'd wrapped on the Jeffree series he'd collapsed on his bed and hadn't gotten up for 3 days. When Ryland had called him he answered his phone groggily and tried his best to parse out "Garrett... cake... alcohol."

He needed little else to motivate him out of the stiff sheets and into the shower.

He'd had a drink in his hand since he'd gotten there at 7 and it was 12:30 and well, he truthfully couldn't see more than 3 feet in front of his face. Garrett told him he got quiet when he drank, but he didn't see it, his laugh still ringing loudly when Shane recalled the night they'd thought they'd lost 3 hours of footage and Andrew had sobbed on the office floor in a ball before checking to see if he was even in the right folder (he wasn't). He needed this. 

Garrett had stayed by his side all night — and he was grateful for that, since trying to do anything by himself after his 4th Dr. Pepper and apple crown was nearly impossible. 

"Who is sober enough to Uber to the store?" Shane slurred, slinging a bottle of Smirnoff around while Ryland tried to chase it. 

Andrew raised his eyebrows and shook his head quickly, glancing at Morgan who was not in much better shape than he was.

Shane pointed a finger at Garrett and when he started to complain Shane only shook his head. "You're the only one who can even walk, right now. You have to go."

Garrett sighed but grabbed his phone and ordered an Uber. "Make a list and text it to me," he grumbled. He glanced over at Andrew who was curled up on the sofa with his bottle of Patron and raised an eyebrow. "Andrew do you want to go with me?"

Andrew simply shook his head and immediately turned green. "If I get up I'll throw up everywhere," he mumbled, waving his hand at Garrett. "I think I'm done for tonight anyway."

Shane snorted. "You've been done for 2 hours, honey. You've just been holding that bottle not drinking it."

Garrett chuckled but nodded. "Okay, I'll be back soon."

•••

Garrett struggled to open the door to Shane's house with the paper bags in his arms but smiled when he finally got it to swing open. He rolled his eyes when he saw Shane and Ryland asleep on the couch and Andrew and Morgan nowhere to be found (probably asleep somewhere). 

{andrew}

He looked up at the ceiling, as far away from Morgan's side as he could get, tears welling up in his eyes as he thought about what he'd done. The blanket was tucked under his arms and his hands were crossed. 

Fuck. Had he really slept with Morgan. A simple dare to kiss her had turned into something much more than either of them could have imagined. He had to get out of there.

He stumbled into his pants and was tugging on his shirt when he heard the front door open. 

"No, no, no. Garrett cannot know about this," he mumbled hastily to himself. Andrew glanced over at a still-sleeping Morgan and sucked in a breath. The only way he could get past Garrett was if he climbed out of the window. Was he sober enough to do that and get into an Uber without killing himself? He'd have to be. He pulled his hoodie on over his shirt and grabbed his phone. He pressed the button on his app and opened the window slowly. 

As he climbed out his phone chimed and he prayed no-one heard him. The Uber had pulled up at the top of Shane's drive and he sprinted up, glancing back to make sure no one saw him. 

•••

"Andrew. Andrew, you have to sign these, please." Morgan voice broke him out of his daze and he looked over at her. Her eyes were red and puffy and her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail. He nodded quickly and took the clipboard from her, signing and initialing in the proper places. He gulped when he handed it back to her.

"Morgan are you 100% sure about this? I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you into anything." He hadn't even finished before Morgan was shaking her head.

"No. No, this is absolutely for the best."

Which, Andrew could understand, but when he'd heard the heartbeat on the monitor and seen Morgan's positive pregnancy test, there was a part of him that --

No. This wasn't his decision. He stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out his phone, checking his iMessages for the 4th time in a 5 minutes.

"Have you heard from him at all?"

"No. Have you?"

"No."

They sighed at the same time as Morgan looked over the paperwork on the clipboard. She hit her lip, tentatively looking at the receptionist, and got up, handing her the paper work. 

"Is your boyfriend going to go back with you sweetheart?"

"He's not — uh, he's not my boyfriend." She cleared her throat and messed with the ends of her hair.

"I see. Have a seat and someone will be out to get you in just a few minutes. The father is allowed to come back, too." 

Morgan nodded and sat down beside Andrew, burying her face in his chest.

"I can stay out here, Morgan, I don't mind."

"No, no. You can come. Please come, if you're okay with that. It's just. They're just giving me a pill and — and then I just have to go home to take it and. And then it'll be done and we can both—"

"Morgan?"


	6. Dreaming

Andrew sat in the downstairs of Shane and Ryland's home, listening to Morgan run to the bathroom for the third time in twenty minutes. (The nurse had said the meds would make her nauseous, and possibly dizzy. He'd have to go up there and check on her soon.)

He had Garrett's number typed into his phone, ready to dial it when someone knocked on the door. 

His eyebrows furrowed but he nearly collapsed when he saw Garrett's nose in the peephole. 

Andrew couldn't get the door open fast enough but his face fell quickly when Garrett only pushed past him. 

"I'm here for Shane, not you."

"Wha-"

"I have to feed the animals."

"Oh. Can we—"

"No."

Garrett tried his best not to look back at Andrew. He knew the face he was making and he knew if he saw it, Andrew would have him wrapped around his finger. Garrett was still so incredibly angry with him, and he truly didn't know what to think about Andrew's random declaration. 

As he poured out Uno's food, he thought about what it would be like to let himself forgive Andrew. He knew Andrew needed comfort— his best friend wasn't even talking to him and he'd gotten his boss's sister pregnant (what a week).

"Garrett."

"What, Andrew." Garrett had never been unkind to him. He had never raised his voice. He'd never even gotten irritated at him. This was an entirely new feeling. Andrew cowered back and stepped down out of the breakfast nook. 

"Do you need me to help with—"

A heavy sigh, a scoop of dog food. "Andrew, please. Just let me do this so I can leave."

Andrew bit his lip. He wanted so badly to scoop Garrett up and hug him and tell him he hadn't meant anything he'd said but— he couldn't do that. Because then he'd be lying to Garrett, and that was something he'd never been particularly good at. 

"Ow, Jesus, fuck." A loud crash followed Morgan's voice carried down the spiral staircase and both of their heads snapped toward the banister. They waited a moment before silence followed and they nearly broke each others' necks trying to get up the stairs. 

Garrett burst through the doors first and nearly threw up. He turned, eyes wide and scared to Andrew as he moved out of the way for him to see. 

"Oh, no, Morgan, fuck, fuck, fuck," he muttered as he rushed beside her and knelt down beside her. She'd fallen, somehow, onto the hard granite of the shower ledge and hit her head. Blood pooled around her thighs and her forehead was split nearly in to. Andrew cradled her head and tried his best not to burst into tears (but this was another breakdown for another day). 

"Call—" he cleared the lump from his throat and squeezed his eyes shut and tried again. "Garrett, call 911, and then Vicki. Tell her we'll explain everything and I—"

Garrett touched Andrew's shoulder; it calmed Andrew down enough to breath again.

"I've got it." 

Andrew nodded and pulled Morgan's head to rest in his lap. He grasped for anything he could find (which just happened to be a ratty Jake Paul mercy shirt) to press against the cut. 

"Its gonna be okay, Morgan," he whispered, praying that he believed that by the time the ambulance got to them. 

\---

Garrett stepped outside onto the patio after he got off the phone with 911 and dialed Vicki's number. She picked up on the third ring.

"Garrett, sweetie! How are you? I feel like I haven't talked to any of you in ages."

Garrett took a deep, shaky breath.

"Garrett, honey, are you okay? You sound worried."

"Morgan fell and -- and we're going to have to take her to the hospital. How fast-- Vicki how fast can you get out here?"

He heard her breath catch and yelling on the other end for Bruce to hurry and get a ticket. 

"I'm on my way. I'll let you know as soon as I get my flight confirmation."

"Okay, I -- Andrew and I will keep you posted. And we'll call Ryland and Shane so you don't have to worry about it, okay?"

"Okay, bye, sweetie."

Garrett sat down on the ledge and stared at the water rippling in the pool. How exactly had his life gotten fucked up enough that he'd lost both of his best friends in the course of two days. He knew it was his fault -- overreacting never solved anything, but look where he was. 

He could see the sirens of the ambulance coming and wondered how long it would take for Morgan to wake up. Would Andrew ride with her or would he ride with Garrett. Obviously he'd ride with Morgan, since his baby was with her and there was a fairly decent chance they were going to lose it. 

God. Damn. The baby. How the hell did he forget about the fucking baby? He ran a hand over his face and sucked back a tear when he heard the ambulance pull into Shane and Ryland's drive.

He waved them down, and they came, carrying a stretcher and a medical bag.

"They're uh, they're up the spiral staircase and to the left," he instructed. 

He waited patiently, as far out of the way as he could stay from the paramedics. He nearly collapsed when they brought Morgan down the stairs carefully and started to roll her up the hill on the stretcher, oxygen mask strapped tightly across her face.

The younger medic turned back and looked at Garrett.

"Your friend is okay, but he may need you to drive him. Can you manage that?" Garrett gulped but nodded at him and watched as they loaded Morgan into the ambulance. 

He walked up the stairs slowly, opening the door to the bathroom as gently as possible. 

"She... um... the medics said it was just a side affect of the pill. That -- that this was normal and uh, an easy fix. She'll probably have to be held overnight for observation but other that--" Garrett sat down beside Andrew and wrapped an arm around him, stopping him mid sentence. Cautiously, he wrapped the other one around Andrew's waist until he was pulling the smaller man nearly into his lap. 

Andrew choked out a tear, and then another, and another, before he was sobbing into Garrett's chest.

"Andrew, we have to go. She needs someone to be there and sign her paperwork."

"Garrett."

"Andrew."

"We have to tell Ryland I got his sister pregnant."


	7. Serene

A bright light shone in Morgan's eyes and she squinted, blinking quickly so that maybe she wouldn't be blinded by it. 

Her eyes flicked open and made contact with the pale tan TV on the wall and then Garrett, hunched over in a pink plastic-covered chair, watching Andrew and the TV in increments. 

"Garrett?"

He turned so quick Morgan thought his neck would break.

"Yeah? What's wrong ? Are you okay? Do I need to call someone?" Garrett had activated full mother-hen mode, fussing over her blankets, but trying his best not to wake Andrew. He calmed down instantly once Morgan smiles at him, and Morgan let him pet her hair. 

"What happened? My head is killing me."

"You slipped in the bathroom and fell and hit your head on the shower steps. You're fine, just a slight concussion and you'll probably have a bitching headache for a few days."

She nodded, wincing when the light caught her eye again. "Can you?" She waved toward the light switch and saw Garrett hop up from the corner of her eye. 

"And the?" When Garrett sat beside her again. Garrett nodded his head. 

"They said you would be fine and that you had nothing to worry about. The pills probably made you dizzy which is why you fell in the first place."

They sat in silence for a moment.  

"Your mom and Ryland are on their way; we had to tell them, I hope you aren't angry."

She shook her head quickly. "No. No, it's okay. I was going to tell my mom anyway." A pause. "Garrett — I... Garrett I have to apologize to you and— no, let me do this, please." She tried her best not to groan when a sharp pain shot through her abdomen. 

Morgan took a deep breath and started again.

"I was careless, Garrett. I was selfish and — ah, ow, shit, why does it hurt to fucking breathe — and I was not a good friend to you. I don't have any excuse for why I slept with Andrew, and I regret it so much. I know you love him, Gare. I know you do, and I know you've tried so hard to just be his friend, but what you don't realize is that— oh, fuck," she hissed as she doubled over, clutching her stomach. 

Garrett somehow pressed the call button and shoved Andrew awake at the same time. Andrew shot up to his feet, trying his best not to seem like he'd just been woken up from the deepest sleep of his life. 

A second later and a nurse was bursting through the door, shooing Andrew and Garrett out of the room.

"Shit, shit, shit, Garrett, shit," he choked out, running his hands through his hair and pacing. He almost didn't feel it when Garrett pulled him into his chest and wrapped his arms around Andrew tightly. 

"Andrew, she's going to be fine." He didn't know that. He hated lying to Andrew. 

"Garrett, how did— Garrett, this all my fault, God." Andrew slumped against the peppered wall, head hung between his legs and his hair grasped tightly in his hands. 

Garrett slid down beside him and pulled Andrew into his side. 

"They'll give her a sedative and let her sleep and once the misoprostol passes out of her system she'll be able to go home. The nurse said there would be a lot of pain but that we shouldn't worry because it was normal." He knew Andrew needed calm, clear, concise words. Garrett knew he was worried. 

He felt Andrew take a deep breath and looked up just in time to see Ryland running through the hall toward them. Garrett couldn't read his expression very well, but he knew that the conversation Ryland and Andrew were about to have didn't need anymore tension. 

"I'm gonna—"

"Garrett, don't you dare leave because I'll kill him if you do." 

Shane followed not far behind Ryland, panting slightly as he lugged their bags behind him. "Sweetie, Ry, babe. No. We talked about this. We said we wouldn't be-"

"Shane. Shut. Up."

"Ryland, I can explain—"

"You damn well better start, Andrew. What the fuck were you thinking?! Sleeping with my sister? In my HOUSE?"

"Technically it's—"

"Shane, don't."

"It was a mistake, Ryland. We both agreed it was a mistake and neither of us meant to do it and she's fine and —"

Andrew yelped when Ryland lashed out, reaching for his neck but only managing to grab his shirt. 

"Ryan!"

They all froze, even Garrett, and he had nothing to do with this. 

Ryland let go of Andrew's shirt slowly and turned around, facing his mother. 

"Uh, hi, mom."


	8. Ripple

"Would someone like to tell me what the hell is going on here?" Vicki stood, arms crossed and frustrated, obviously exhausted from the rushed flight, and Ryland had the good sense to look guilty. Andrew gulped. Shane stood back a safe distance with Bruce. 

"He got—"

"I didn't mean—"

"Morgan is—"

"Mom?"

They all peered into her hospital room as soon as they heard Morgan's voice and clamored for a a spot next to her. 

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier." 

Morgan smiled and hugged her, wincing only slightly.

"Did they— mom did they tell you?"

She shook her head. 

"I'm pregnant — or well, I was. It's not a big deal, honestly but uh, it's — was— Andrew's."

The room fell silent and no one moved for a moment. Vicki traces patterns on the back of Morgan's hand and swallowed heavily. Shane's lingering hand on Ryland's arm did little to stop the forceful heave of his chest as he breathed. 

After a moment. "And you're fine? This isn't because you— You did this safely, I'm presuming. And. And you didn't try and —"

"No, mom, no. We went to Planned Parenthood and I got the pill, but it was ectopic pregnancy. There wasn't anything any of us could have done. The tech didn't catch it at Planned Parenthood, but it was probably a good thing because it probably would have hurt me even more if I'd carried it any longer. I'm fine mom, I promise." 

A collective breath of relief. 

"I'm just glad you're okay, Morganics," Ryland whispered shakily. "Andrew, I— I'm sorry, about earlier."

Andrew simply shrugged. "Can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing to my sister's trash boyfriend." 

Garrett giggled and immediately stopped himself, feigning a straight face when Andrew narrowed his eyes at him. 

•••

Andrew rapped his fingers on the steering wheel nervously, biting his lip harder as his finger movements sped up. 

He felt a larger hand cover his and looked over at Garrett's pleading face. 

"You have got to stop that. My nerves cannot take it 'drew." 

Andrew flicked his eyes sheepishly to Garrett and saw him smiling ever-so-slightly. 

"I'm sorry, Garrett, fuck." Andrew wasn't exactly sure what he was apologizing for but of all the things that happened in the last 72 hours he was sure Garrett could find something to forgive him for. 

"It's okay, Andrew. I— I overre—"

"Garrett, no you didn't." Andrew pulled forward in the drive through an inch. 

"I was such an asshole to you. I — confessing my feelings like that, in the middle of the most upsetting conversation I think I've ever had in my life, wasn't fair to you. You deserved, God I don't know what you deserve but I know it's not me. I've got way too much baggage, Gare, I mean shit I had a kid and — now. Shit, I don't know." Another few inches and he handed the woman at the window his debit card. 

He took a deep breath after he thanked her and pulled up to the next window, shoving the card and receipt into his pocket. 

"Garrett, I really do love you. I do. I hope you don't think that I don't love you. I— I don't know how I'm ever going to convince you that I do, I'd never believe me after what I did, after I slept with your best friend. But I'm an asshole and I hold grudges so I guess that's up to you and —"

He glanced over where Garrett was watching him intently. Andrew sighed. 

"Garrett, I don't. I don't know how I'll ever forgive myself or how you'll ever forgive me, and I don't know if our friendship will ever be the same— Oh, thank you, have a good day, too," he told the girl in the window, blushing when she raised her eyebrow at his and Garrett's conversation. 

He pulled into an empty parking space and scooted his seat back. He handed the other Taco Bell bag to Garrett and suddenly got a flurry of nervousness in his stomach. 

"Garrett, I don't know if you'll ever forgive me and I know I already said this, but I love you, Gare. And it's okay if you don't feel the same. I'll still be your very best friend. I just— Garrett, I can't lose you because of some stupid drunken mistake that Morgan and I both regret." 

"Are you done?" Garrett had been silent most of the car ride over from the hospital, and had been silent for most of their food-getting mission, save for his insistence that Andrew HAD to stop tapping. 

Andrew nodded, turning to look at Garrett. 

"Drew, I'm not. I'm not gonna just confess my love for you. That's not how this works. This isn't a movie and it isn't a romcom where we hug and make up." Andrew's face fell and his stomach dropped to the ground.

Garrett gulped and ran a hand through his hair, taking his glasses off to pretend to clean them. 

"Andrew, I— you hurt me so badly. You have no idea what it felt like for my best friends to keep something from me; even if you thought I'd be angry you still should have told me that you and Morgan slept together. I probably would have been angry, but what hurt the most is that you kept this from me. You lied to me when I asked if anything had happened between you and Morgan at the party because I knew something was up with both of you. But you both lied and told me nothing had.

"Andrew, I'm not claiming to be perfect, but I tell you everything. I thought that's what we did. We told each other everything and helped each other through it. But when you decided you couldn't tell me about Morgan, that broke our trust. I— Andrew, I don't know if I want to even be your best friend— I, no that's a lie, but I don't know if I can even trust you; that's no way to start a relationship and it's surely no way for us to start a relationship." 

Garrett sat back in the car seat and put his glasses on the dashboard, closing his eyes tightly and covering them with his hand. He tucked his elbow into his side and wrapped his other arm around his waist, hugging himself. When he looked back up at Andrew his eyes were red rimmed and tears rolled onto his cheeks. 

"I can't do this, right now, Andrew. I'm not in a place mentally to take care of myself or nurture myself, let alone someone else. I— Andrew, I have loved you for a very long time, but I have also not loved myself for much longer. This whole thing with you and me and Morgan made me realize that I put too much of my self-reliance in people and when they let me down I get hurt."

"I didn't—"

"Andrew, fuck, okay, I know you didn't. Just— I know, okay? But that doesn't mean that I don't do it. Please— for me. Okay, just. Just let me figure out what I really want."


	9. Jump

Andrew watched as his phone light reflected off his mirror. He simply rolled over and pulled his blanket over his head. He didn't want to talk to anyone, see anyone, hear from anyone. 

Garrett hadn't spoken to him in weeks. He hadn't been to Shane's in weeks just to avoid Morgan and Ryland. He'd had hardly any human contact beside the simple "u ok?" text Shane had sent him.

But God did he miss Garrett. He grumbled and rolled over, praying to whomever the fuck was listening that the notification was Garrett and not another Twitter fan asking where he'd been. 

He didn't even look as he held his phone up to his face and unlocked it, but he nearly fell out of the bed when he realized it actually was Garrett. 

Calling him. 

At 2 in the morning. 

"Fuck, hello?"

"Andreeeewww." Garrett only said his name like that when—

"Drew, I'm druuhnkkk." And there it was. 

He sighed. He must have sounded frustrated because he could hear Garrett pouting through the phone. 

"Oh, Andrew, no. Don't be mad. I hate it when you're mad at me."

Andrew rolled his eyes. "I know, Gare. Are you okay?"

"I'm at home."

"That's not what I asked."

"I told myself I wouldn't lie to you."

And well, oh.

"Garrett." A sigh. "Garrett, I know how this is going to sound, but what do you need?"

A pause. 

"I miss you."

"You're the one who said you didn't want to see me."

Garrett🧙🏼♀️ would like to FaceTime

The screen buffered for a moment before the tone sounded and the connection was established. 

"Andrew."

"Yes, Garrett."

"I miss you."

"You've said that."

Garrett but his lip and held the phone to close to his face. 

"Andrew, why do you love me."

It wasn't a question; Andrew bit his lip. 

"Garrett, buddy, I can't do this. I can't— I can't pretend like everything's okay with us when we haven't talked in almost a month and a half. You told me you needed time and I'm trying to give you that. But— Garrett, fuck, I miss you too."

Garrett beamed and pulled the phone even closer, which, how the hell was that possible. 

"I wish you were here, Drew. You're so close. I could walk to your house, I think. No, I definitely could. I could walk to your house and sit on your couch and we could watch movies and I could kiss you and everything would be okay."

Garrett rambled when he drank and the more he drank the more he rambled and the more he rambled the longer Andrew held his breath and he didn't think he could do that anymore and—

He blew out a shaky breath and just listened as Garrett mumbled something about "avengers and Harry Potter and popcorn."

"Garrett, I love you." Another pause. 

"I know." 

Call from Garrett🧙🏼♀️ has failed.


	10. Surely

Andrew's heart clenched in his chest as he tried to call Garrett back but the call wouldn't go through. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he grumbled to himself, hastily throwing the covers off him and slipping his shoes on by the door. (Later, after he opened his door and walked inside without unlocking his home, he thanked whoever that no one had broken in.)

Everything in him told him to stop. He wanted to go back to bed, needed, to go back to sleep and give himself time but Garrett could be hurt. 

As he drove the short distance to Garrett house, Andrew couldn't help but wonder if he was doing the right thing. 

"Of course I am, right?" He pressed the lock on his car and knocked on Garrett's door softly first, then rapped louder when Garrett didn't immediately come to the door of the tiny house. (He didn't want to use his key. He wanted to respect Garrett, but his resolve was wavering with each worry-building moment.)

Thankfully, Garrett appeared, smiling ear-to-ear as he pulled Andrew in for a hug. He reeked of alcohol and weed and for a moment Andrew regretted his speedy decision. 

Until he saw Garrett's house. 

"Oh, no, Gare," Andrew whispered when he finally let him inside. Clothes littered the floor, strewn haphazardly around as if there'd been a break in. What had once been an immaculately clean home was now in disrepair again, quite possibly worse than what it was before. 

"Garrett, what—"

"Got tired," He slurred, shrugging. He cleared Andrew off a place to sit on the couch and plopped down not far away. 

"Garrett, I— have you left this house in the last month and a half?"

"Nope." A pop of the P and Garrett was swigging from a nearly empty bottle of expensive scotch Shane had gifted him when he cleaned his house and decorated it. 

"But—"

"Postmates. Andrew did you know that postmates will bring you alcohol? That's what we should have done. When you slept with Morgan. And then maybe it would have been me, yeah? Yeah, that would have been nice. Andrew, I love you. I missed you so much. Anyway postmates could have brought us alcohol and then— oh, Andrew, would you look at Popcorn and Echo, they're so sweet." He leaned over to Andrew on the couch and sighed happily when his check rested on Andrew's shoulder. 

Andrew stiffened.

"Garrett, don't— Garrett, you're drunk."

Garrett only leaned back over slightly, but he wasn't touching Andrew anymore. 

"Andrew, do. Andrew, are you? Andrew, would you have slept with me? If it were me instead of Morgan?"

It was barely a whisper. No, Andrew couldn't even call it that. Garrett's voice was tiny and inaudible and scared. 

"Garrett— Garrett, I don't know." He did know, but Garrett was vulnerable and tired and afraid and God damn if they could ever get their shit straightened out with the universe that'd be fine and fucking dandy with Andrew, thank you very much. 

"Andrew, please don't lie to me."

"Garrett, I don't want to influence you. You're not in your right mind and I'm not particularly either considering I just willing drove 4 miles to see you because you hung up and I didn't know if you had died or if you had alcohol poising or—"

And, well, shit. The universe had pretty damn near horrible timing. 

Garrett's hand threaded in Andrew's hair as their lips pressed together. He felt himself relax against his will and his body betrayed every ounce of self-control he'd built up on the ride over and fuck he was kissing Garrett. 

Stomach in chaos and his heart in knots, Andrew pulled away. Tears welled in his eyes and he turned away from Garrett. 

"I— Garrett, I have to leave. This isn't— Gare, you don't know what you're doing."

He pushed himself off the couch and nearly got to the door before he heard Garrett softly speak. 

"Andrew, you're perfect, but sometimes I think you only love me because you know I loved you first. Because you knew I wanted you."

And if the universe wanted to fuck him over, it didn't have to try anymore.


	11. Please

"You fucking idiot. You just left? He said all of that and you left him there? Andrew, I never knew you were stupid."

Andrew winced at Shane's words as he wedged his phone between his shoulder and his ear. He picked up the grocery bags from the trunk of his car and fumbled with his house key. 

"Fuck, Shane, I didn't know what to say. Anything I told him he wouldn't have believed anyway."

"Andrew, he's loved you for as long as I can remember. It's why we didn't work. He's so hung up on you and you're so sickeningly in love with him— why the fuck can't you two get your shit sorted out and just fall in love already? What are you waiting for? The shoe isn't going to drop, and I think the real reason you slept with Morgan was because you were trying to push away your feelings for Garrett. Was it dumb? Fuck yes. Did it work? Absolutely not. Did it hurt your friendship with every fucking body? Yes."

Silence as Andrew stood in his doorway, grocery bags cutting into his fingers. 

A sigh from Shane. 

"Andrew, I love both of you, but you're hurting each other so much more trying to fight this. I know you're both scared of what will happen if you don't work out but you're essentially the same person now and I don't know if that's a recipe for disaster or the perfect relationship strategy but you have to try before this unrequited shit kills one or both of you."

•••

"Was that Andrew?" Garrett asked as Shane walked back into the living room from the portico. 

"Yeah."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing much, actually."

"Did he—"

"No. He didn't ask about you. But I didn't really give him the chance, Gare."

"Oh."

"Have you talked to him since last week?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I didn't. I don't—" Garrett sighed. Morgan came down the stairs and frowned. She sat beside Ryland at the bar and took two of his carrots.

"They still haven't talked to each other?" She asked. 

"No. They're both avoiding the obvious fucking fact that they love the shit out of each other but they're both too stubborn to be the first to give in to it."

Morgan sighed again. Two more carrots. 

"Hey, get your own."

"I'm still eating for two until they figure out a way to get this demon child out of me."

Ryland rolled his eyes and dipped his carrots in the hummus. "You were too weak for the D &C, Morgan, stop acting like it's a vampire."

Morgan huffed but simply dipped another carrot stick in the ranch.

"Did you tell Andrew?"

Nothing but the quiet munching of the vegetables and the soft conversation between Garrett and Shane.

"Do you really think we'd have to hunt him down for 4 hours to be able to get in touch with him if I had?"

Ryland stopped and turned to face Morgan, a disapproving stare on his face. 

"He deserves to know that you're still pregnant with his child, Morgan." Morgan only pushed her hummus with her carrot. 

"You promised mom you wouldn't stress me out."

"You promised mom you'd tell Andrew before the D & C tomorrow. I'll keep up my end if you'll keep up yours."

Garrett and Shane walked into the kitchen to glares from both Adams siblings. 

"So, what's the tea?" Garrett asked, poking at Morgan's shoulder. The glare she sent him was enough to make him nearly cower and sit in the chair beside her, though. 

"Morgan still hasn't told Andrew."

"Morgan, you—"

"I know, okay? But he doesn't know that Garrett knows and Garrett isn't talking to him and the last time two of us kept something from the other it didn't exactly turn out pleasantly."

There was silence, and no one could truly argue with that.


	12. Grand

When Garrett moved in the tiny house, Andrew had bought him a hammock and hung it on the front porch. Andrew hadn't really meant for it to be his spot, but he guessed it was as good a spot as any. Usually Garrett sat with him, each of them with their feet at one end, heads meeting in the middle as they lay and talked and smoked.

 

But not tonight. Andrew lay in it alone, curled in a ball, waiting for Garrett to finish his sentence with a simple "just kidding." But he didn't. Andrew waited for a long time, processing what he was hearing and passing the joint back and forth with Garrett.

 

"She's still pregnant?" Even as it came out of his mouth Andrew didn't know really know what he was saying. Didn't really believe it.

 

"She wasn't going to tell you."

 

"I gathered as much." The breeze whipped through the trees and whistled in time with the birds. Andrew could smell the rain coming.

 

"She wasn't doing it to be spiteful, she—"

 

"I know Garrett. Is she keeping it?"

 

"I'm not sure. She had a D&C termination scheduled yesterday but she didn't go." Garrett's eyes flicked up from his lighter and toward Andrew, catching a glimpse of his friend wincing. A long drag of the joint and he was passing it to Andrew, knowing he needed it more right then.

 

Andrew sighed and ran a hand over his face after he blew out the smoke he'd been holding. He was torn between being angry at Morgan and understanding the motive behind her not knowing what the fuck to do. He wishes he could tell her but he knew even less.

 

"She's running out of time." He hated saying it. He'd grown up religious but didn't really believe in it now but shit he couldn't shake the thought of Morgan having to — terminate — a baby that looked like both of them. (Which was another thing he still hadn't gotten over entirely. A little baby with his nose and Morgan's eyes and his laugh and her personality.)

 

"It just feels like I can't move on until I know what she's doing. At this point I don't even know what I want, Gare. I just know I want to be able to live my own life without the threat or promise of a child or whatever the fuck this is getting in the way." He grumbled again and finished the joint, sending the the paper and ash toward Garrett's ashtray behind him.

 

Garrett winced when it missed and leaned over quickly to stomp it out with his foot. He looked at Andrew softly and closed his eyes, head hanging between his knees.

 

"Do you want her to keep it? I know you said you didn't. But Andrew, and hear me out please — I think you do."

 

Andrew only stared at him before pulling the blanket covering him over his face.

 

"Andrew, stop. As long as I've known you, you've only ever been sure about one thing, and that's that you want to have a family." This statement was met with grumbles galore from Andrew, until eventually he only pulled the scratchy outdoor blanket under his chin.

 

"I'm not angry, Andrew, I promise. But... Andrew," Garrett said his name slowly, carefully.

 

"Andrew, I think you need to admit that some tiny portion of you wants this baby and that's why you haven't already done something about it."

 

Garrett had a nasty habit of saying things before he thought them through — before he analyzed exactly what his words would mean not just to the people around him, but also to himself.

 

"I do want a family, Garrett. But not with her."

 

Silence from both of them as Andrew took a deep breath. He crawled out of the hammock and onto the concrete with Garrett and pulled Garrett's face into his hands.

 

A thumb traced the corner of Garrett's jaw and then his cheek, his nose, his mouth.

 

Andrew licked his lips.

 

"Garrett, I want you. And every moment she doesn't decide something is a moment I worry I'm losing you. And I don't want that to happen."

 

Garrett gulped and froze. He knew he should stop Andrew — he was hurt and vulnerable and probably a little baked.

 

But he couldn't.

 

Instead he just watched as Andrew got closer, hands cupping Garrett's face as Andrew kissed him.

 

Garrett closed his eyes and nearly cried when Andrew's lips met his. He whimpered and somehow his hands managed to move themselves to lace into Andrew's shirt.

 

Garrett wanted to praise whatever gods had given him this when Andrew finally climbed into Garrett's lap when his knees started to get tired. He turned his face and suddenly Andrew was panting into Garrett's neck and Garrett could barely breath.

 

"Garrett." Andrew huffed his name into Garrett's neck and whined when Garrett pressed gentle lips behind Andrew's ear.

 

"Yeah?"

 

A soft flutter of eyelashes against his cheek makes Garrett glance at Andrew's eyes.

 

"I love you, Garrett. I love you and I want you to know that and I know you don't want to say it back because you're scared and you don't think I love you for real but I do Garrett. I love you so fucking much sometimes it hurts and —"

 

"Andrew."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I love you, too."

 

It's the first time Garrett's told him without being drunk and god it feels so fucking good.

 

He kisses Andrew again, kisses him through the smile that threatens to burst off Andrew's cheeks, and pulls Andrew in closer.

 

Andrew's phone rings and he almost doesn't answer it, but when Garrett sees the name on the screen flashing Morgan he lunges for it and answers it before it clicks to voicemail.

 

"Hello?"

 

•••

 

Andrew held his breath, listening patiently as the doctor explained the results of the procedure.

 

"We apologize, Mr. Siwicki. This is never easier for any of us."

 

Andrew felt guilty, sitting there listening to a doctor explain his own loss to him. Garrett had gone somewhere for coffee when the doctor walked up, and Andrew knew he'd have to ask him to come back in a little while when Garrett came back so he wouldn't have to do it.

 

He was lost in his thoughts, debating whether he should suggest a name or let Morgan decide, when Garrett walked up.

 

"Is she okay?" Garrett handed Andrew a cup of decaf, squinting when Andrew drank it willingly.

 

"Yeah, uh. The baby was a boy."

 

It made it real, Andrew thought. This thing, this person growing inside Morgan had been a boy. He could have played soccer or basketball or been  a musical genius and now —

 

"Do you have to name him? For the death certificate?"

 

"He was — he was too little for one. They'll just take him. Somewhere. She didn't want to see him. They told me I could but I didn't. I don't think I could." Andrew's breath hitched and he bit his lip to push back tears.

 

"I'm so sorry, 'drew."

 

It had been so long since Garrett had called him that, since he'd been able to hug Garrett and not worry about what it would mean afterward and he wanted to sob into Garrett's chest for a completely different reason.

 

"Take me home, Garrett. Shane and Ryland are with Morgan. She's fine. I don't want to be here — I don't want to be in another hospital as long as I live. Please just take me somewhere. Your house, mine, Shane's. Just take me somewhere I can sleep."

 

"Okay." A lift, an arm under Andrew's legs and suddenly his face was pressed against Garrett's neck and his arms were around Garrett's neck and he was being carried out of the hospital and to Garrett's car and he didn't realize where they were until Garrett was laying him into Garrett's bed on his side. He took Andrew's hoodie off that smelled like sterile chairs and sticky floors and tugged one of Garrett's old worn ones on him and then covered him with the blankets and tucked him in with pillows like he would a child and kissed Andrew's forehead and told him he'd be right back.

 

A moment passed and Garrett returned, a cup of soup in his hand and crackers in the other. Andrew tried to sit up but Garrett pushed him down.

 

"I've got it. Let someone take care of you, for once."

 

And so he did; Garrett spooned him the soup slowly, giving him crackers and a drink of water from a bottle that appeared out of nowhere. When Andrew finished Garrett put the bowl on the bedside table and climbed in next to him. He wrapped his arms around Andrew and pulled the smaller man into his chest and held him tight to his body. Andrew had drifted off slightly, bleary eyed and hazy from the warmth of the bed and Garrett and the soup.

 

He almost didn't hear Garrett's quiet confession.

 

Almost.

 

"I love you, Andrew. I love you and I'm sorry for doubting that you love me and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you know that I do."

 

"I'm holding my breath," Andrew whispered back into Garrett's neck, and merely curled himself in closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believs this is finished!! 2 months ago this was not at all where I wanted this story to go but I love how it ended up. Thank you for reading this ❤️


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